My Self

 

Meet Kristine!

Staring at this blank space feels like I'm staring in a white canvas where I should paint colors to make it lively or should I say to make it alive. This canvas serves as a representation of myself. Sometimes  I asked myself what words would best describe me or what colors I should use to express the beauty of who I am in the eyes of others.

My name is Kristine A. Cacerez, a 20 years old woman residing at Brgy. Quilao Tolosa, Leyte. I was born on the 6th day of December year 2002 at the municipality of Tolosa. I am the only daughter of Marlyn Cacerez and Erwin Advincula. My grandparents raised me ever since I was born and they gave me many life lessons that I will always remember, and you will undoubtedly benefit from them as well.

The first thing that comes up when I think about myself is, I'm a diligent person. I tend to put so much effort in terms of my studies knowing the fact that I'm not intelligent enough to reach the standards of those people around me. I always try my best to be an achiever to meet the standards they set upon me since I was young. This makes me constantly under pressure to perform well in my activities or in relation to my academic performances, which causes me to build walls within myself.

Another thing is people always mistaken me at the first glance. They thought  that I have an attitude problem based from my appearance. But once they know me they always tell that I am completely different from what they have perceived in my personality. I guess they are right. I'm a talkative person especially when I'm surrounded with my comfortable people. I tend to overshare a lot about my life and about nonsense stuff.

Also I'm a funny person and easy going. I love watching korean drama and anime. I always make sure no one in my circle feel that they are being left out from the group and I try my best to make them laugh even sometimes I can't make myself happy. I can tell that I'm an optimistic person but I can't keep it all the time. Mostly I feel alone and experiencing breakdowns without even knowing the reason behind it. I put myself under pressure, worrying about my future, and get easily worried when people around me communicate less with me. I felt anxious about it all the time and I feel that I have done something wrong. Nonetheless, I'm a type of person who tends to seek approval from other people which is not good and shouldn't be tolerated.

They say people change as like seasons and years. I can say that maybe for now this is me and maybe tomorrow I'm a completely different person for who I am today. I am writing this to myself to inform my future self what I have to look forward in my life. No one knows us better than we know ourselves. Life is full of twists and sometimes it's a roller coaster ride. Five years from now, I will read this again and prove to myself that I don't need anyone's approval and I will make sure future me will be proud of my accomplishments in life.